Narrative - New and improved :)

Due to our feedback on our initial step outline. The narrative has been extended and improved to make the duration longer and to make it more appealing. This is our idea at the moment:

Criminal Aminur is sitting on the end of his bed in prison, he is suffering depression as he can not stop thinking about he’s past doings and all the bad things he has done.

(He then has a flashback)

This takes us back to a Friday evening when Aminur is going to the cash point machine to check if he’s job seekers allowance is ready for him to with-draw. He is waiting behind a young lady who had with-drawn £200. She turns around and gives him a dirty look as he looked quite suspicious and weird.


Aminur’s checks his account which reveals 35p. The angry teen turns around to see the young lady putting the money in her bag. He immediately thinks to himself “This is not the right thing to do, but the others would do it, wouldn’t they?” He can not seem to stop himself as he is desperate for a smoke and he obviously isn’t going to let his gang down. He approaches her and grabs her bag out of her hand, shockingly she retaliates and pulls it back off him and screams at the top of her voice, she hits him and pulls her bag back into her arms. Aminur is now fuming and reaches for his pocket where he draws a gun. He holds it up to her and shoots her in her chest. She immediately dies. He then picks up the bag from the pool of blood and heads towards his gangs hideaway where they deal all there drugs.


He runs towards the gang bragging about what he had just done, they praise him and he feels proud of himself. They all take advantage and snatch the notes out his hands. Little do they no, they are being watched by undercover police who have been trying to track down the drug dealers for a year and a half. Aminur has he’s back towards the female copper as she walks towards them. One of the gang members screams RUN!!!! Aminur is unaware of what they are talking about and stands confused. He turns around with bags of drugs and stolen money in his hands. This was the end for him!


(The flashback ends)


Aminur is sitting there with all the regret in the world for what he had done.